A Decade of Leukemia - Coming Full Circle

For ten years now, I have written or blogged at times about a significant part of our family's journey, and this could well be my last post on the subject.  Over the last decade, thousands of you have walked with us through arguably one of the most horrific situations a family can experience:  the diagnosis of cancer (and more specifically acute lymphoblastic leukemia - ALL) in the life of your child.  You walked with us through the months of Brad's thirteen-year-old life on a razor's edge as he was hospitalized from the initial bacterial septic shock that hurtled us down this path.  You walked with us through three-and-a-half years of the first horrible treatment and then another two-and-a-half when he relapsed - a nearly seven-year span of treatment in all.  You walked with us through two hip replacements and two hand/wrist surgeries since then to deal with the damage from all the treatment. It has been a difficult ten years - especially for Brad.

Nine Years and Normal Again!

As my life has filled with ever more activity (of various degrees of value), my blogging has ground to a near halt.  Looking back, I see that my last post was a year ago today – wow!  Well, I cannot let August 29 pass without looking back over the last nine years, particularly this last one.  August 29, 2009, was the day we almost lost our son and it became a defining moment in my life.  When you have had a child with cancer (leukemia in particular), it redefines everything.  Spending years on end dealing with the horrifying reality of the cancer itself, as well as the ongoing damage from treatment, can easily consume you.  It impacts everything: child, job, siblings, marriage, time, finances, spiritual life, sanity and even the dog.

Leukemia and Lessons on Control

August 29, 2009, is a date that will forever be burned into my mind.  In some ways, it still seems like it was yesterday that my healthy thirteen year-old son almost slipped away into death.  It was a day that, up to this point, marks the defining event and dominating circumstance of my last decade.  I have been reading my posts and blogs about Brad’s battle with leukemia (and the complications it caused) from the past eight years.  I can still feel the horror of helplessly watching Brad’s unrecognizable body teeter between life and death.  I remember the joy of progress and the despair at setbacks as Brad improved and digressed.

Stay to the Right

As I drove to church this morning, my wife and I barely avoided an Audi SUV whose driver apparently had no clue that others might also be driving on the road.  Our quiet Shelby County road is one-lane, curvy, and very tight in spots.  When we built our house here sixteen years ago, I was a relatively young pup of thirty-five years.  Being enthusiastic for my new home and neighborhood, I tried my hand at organizing my neighbors to get our little road widened for safety.  I quickly learned that this was a non-starter.  My neighbors informed me that the road was one of the main reasons they moved here.  They said it kept the “through traffic” out.  Unfortunately, it also creates the necessity for constant anticipation of the potential dangers around every curve and over every hill.

Life is Struggle

As I sit here in the pre-dawn minutes of December 27, 2016 with my favorite coffee mug and a quiet house, I am getting a few minutes to think – something that seems rare for me these days.  The last seven years since Brad was diagnosed with leukemia have brought a range of life events I never anticipated.  I never dreamed we would deal with our child being at the brink of death so many times.  I never anticipated our entire life in many ways would revolve around this unwelcome illness.  We learned to be extremely grateful just to be out of a hospital for holidays.  I remember the Christmas of 2009 when Brad walked again for the first time in four months, and our whole family broke down in tears of gratitude. 

More Than a Dinner Bell

On a recent weekend, my wife Stacey and I made an effort to clean out our basement.  Over the past couple of months, I had built a small extra storage garage so that I could get some of the junk out of our regular garage.  This led to a total reorganization effort, resulting in a monster pile of goods to donate to charity.  Most of these items came from our basement.  We went through everything making an effort to eschew sentimentality and throw out things we are never going to use.  As we did this, I came across the small pile of items I have been keeping for my brothers and me which came from my parent's home.

Advice for the Best Man - Avoiding 9 Pitfalls that Can Wreck a Wedding Speech

As the wedding season moves into full swing, I have some unsolicited advice which might benefit you prospective best men and maids of honor.  If you have been asked to serve in such an important role, count yourself special.  Someone values you highly.  This honor typically includes the expectation that you will give a speech at the wedding reception of your friend.  For many, the thought of taking a microphone and speaking to hundreds of people you barely know can be downright terrifying.  If you will just keep a few things in mind, you can give a killer address that will honor your friend for a lifetime.

Swimming Against the Riptide of Gender Bending

While on vacation at the ocean some time back, I was rafting some gentle waves and lost track of the shoreline.  When I looked up, I was far from land.  I immediately began to swim back for the beach but was caught in a strong current.  I fought hard for shore but was moving farther and farther from land.  There was a point where I thought I didn’t have the strength to make it back – in fact I had gotten very nearly to the point of no return.

I now have that same sense in regard to our culture.  Yesterday, the New York Times stated that the Department of Education would issue guidelines that schools should allow students to participate in activities and use facilities in accordance with the gender with which they identify.  These guidelines come with the threat of removing federal funds if schools do not comply.  I heard high school principals, state officials from around the country, and progressive educators explaining the benefits both for our students and our country.  Cultural elites are hailing this as a great day for fairness and an inevitable step of progress toward true equality for all.

My Son's Leukemia and Checking out on God

I realize that I haven’t posted in a while, and I doubt this fact impacts too many people.  I do occasionally have folks ask, “What happened?  Why did you go silent?”  The truth is, when my son Bradley relapsed in his leukemia back in October of 2013, it rocked my world.  I tried to stay engaged with broader things around me for a while, but I basically just lost my voice as I turned more inward.  I no longer had anything to say.

Hurtling Down the Slippery Slope

(Author’s Note:  Though I originally wrote this post in July, I have been so busy that I have just now found a moment to edit it and step back into blogging.) 

I realize that the more I wade into this marriage water, the hotter it is going to get.  My views (though unchanging) are increasingly becoming politically incorrect and soon to be, if not now already, branded as “bigoted” and “hateful”.  I adamantly reject those labels and press on.  I suppose I want to get on record now so that as events and decisions regarding marriage play out in our country, a memory (however faint it may be) of these words may provoke others to consider what I’m saying.

How to Encourage Your Child to Abandon Christian Faith

It might surprise some to know that I once teetered on the brink of agnosticism if not outright atheism. Though it was 30 years ago, I still remember the hopeless, black, world-rending feeling of considering that there just might be no such being as God.  I didn’t feel I could talk about my doubts – I was supposed to just set aside my concerns and look to God for faith.  I didn’t think anyone would understand my doubts anyway.

Traditional Marriage – Facing a Painful Reality

I like war movies.  I guess I got that from my dad.  My father was a WWII veteran who lied about his age and volunteered as a 16 year-old to fight for America.  He was always quick to explain that his patriotism and desire for adventure greatly exceeded his knowledge of what he was getting into.  I have two sons of my own, the youngest of which is seventeen.  It is hard for me to imagine either of them going to Italy and fighting across the Apennine Mountains at the age of 17.   I can’t imagine having done so myself.  Yet my dad and many others did. I used to love to watch war movies with my dad and listen to him talk about the different battle tactics.

Duck Dynasty, Phil Robertson and the Birth of Christ

It’s Christmas Eve.  I’m with my wife’s family preparing to celebrate Christmas and sitting alone in the quiet of the morning with my cup of black (there is no other kind) robusto coffee.  I look forward to the next few days with family.  In spite of all the negative commercialism, the pressure of shopping, and even some knowledge of the pagan roots of some of the traditions, I love Christmas.  It genuinely helps me to focus on the biggest question of life – “Why am I here?”  The coming of Christ is central to that.

It has always been obvious to me that I have a creator, even without Christianity and the Bible.  What is not as obvious is what this creator expects of me, if anything.  Condensing a great deal of comparative religious study and personal journey, I found Jesus to be the focal point for this determination.  If he really did come to earth in a miraculous virgin birth, his arrival is worth noting.  If he really did fulfill multiple prophecies, his life is worth considering.  If he really did perform miracles and teach things that cut to the core of the heart like no other, his words are worth hearing.  If he really did voluntarily die as a substitute to pay my debt for rebellion against my creator and rise from the grave showing his power over even death, he should be followed and followed on his own terms.  Where do we get those terms?  Well, they are recorded in the Bible.  The Bible is part and parcel of the Christian faith and is the key to understanding Christmas.

Thankful on the Cancer Wing?

Having just celebrated what is one of my very favorite holidays of the year, I’m reflecting a little on thankfulness.  It is 1:30AM as I sit here at Kosair Children’s Hospital in my University of Kentucky lounge pants (real men don’t wear pajamas).  My son has been a patient here on the oncology floor for the last two weeks.  What we hoped would be a relatively uneventful round of chemo to treat his leukemia relapse turned into a full blown septic infection in his bloodstream as well as a fungal infection in his lungs.  With no immunity because of the chemo treatments, he has been in a very precarious position.  It has taken constant care, constant treatment, a herd of doctors and nurses, round-the-clock attention from his mother and me, a can-do attitude from Brad, plus much prayer just to keep our noses above the water line. 

Disappointed with God?

What do you do when you are sorely disappointed with what God allows in your life?  Where do you turn when you have begged God for something which seems reasonable, yet God's answer is no?  How do you react when you cannot see what God is doing?  When you cannot see where he is going?  When you cannot figure out what he wants?  When you feel as if you can bear no more?

I have experienced a number of firsts the last few years, many of which I did not want.  Perhaps for the first time in my life, I am now experiencing deep disappointment at what God is allowing.  I hesitated to write this post.  I usually find blogging an outlet, but ever since my seventeen-year-old son Bradley was diagnosed with a leukemia relapse last week, I have been unable to find release through words.  I can identify my underlying feelings, but I have hesitated to admit them. It is hard to face being weak.

Chicken or Egg? Does Wealth Create Family Stability ?

While scanning news sites this morning, I saw a couple of headlines that caught my eye.  An article titled “Children suffer from growing economic inequality among families since recession” by Brigid Schulte was posted in the “Local” section of today’s Washington Post, but the implications of this article are anything but local.  The impetus for Schulte’s article is the report just released by Ohio State University social scientist Zhenchao Qian titled “Divergent Paths of American Families”.  Qian examined census and other data regarding income, poverty, and family status in the United States.  Both Schulte and Qian miss the point.



What's in a Day? A Great Deal When Your Son Is No Longer Dying!

The 29^th of August.  This day may not be significant for you, but it is forever burned into the very psyche of our family.  It was on this day, four years ago, that our then 13-year-old son Bradley went into septic shock from the staph infection that ran rampant through his body.  It was August 29^th, 2009, that our lives were irreversibly changed.  It was August 29^th when we were told our previously energetic, brilliant, healthy, and loving son would not live.  It was August 29^th that we learned he had leukemia which had allowed the septic infection to destroy every system of his body.

Now Flatulating Cattle are Driving Teens from the Church?

When I wrote my last post on Christians and climate change a few days ago, I had no idea the New York Times would publish the following article validating my points:

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/11/science/earth/what-to-make-of-a-climate-change-plateau.html?_r=1&

Again, I'm not discounting the possibility of global warming - I'm just challenging the confidence of what we really know.  I've had some people come after me very aggressively for my views on the subject.  I just find an incredible amount of hubris in the environmental science world about an incredibly difficult to solve (mathematically) problem.  Forgive me if my wee bit of experience (OK, a little more than a wee bit) mathematically predicting physical phenomenon makes me skeptical of the confidence of the environmental climatologists.

All that being said, I want to reiterate that it really doesn't matter if the science is correct or not - Christians should be the first in line to take care of the planet, albeit without unnecessarily taking a "hair-on-fire" kind of approach.

The Legacy of a Logan Countian

Tomorrow we auction the home and farm where I was reared.  I remember the summer before I turned four-years-old when my father was building the house.  My mother took us to the construction site.  The walls were being framed.  My Mom and Dad took my twin brother and me to a corner of the house and said, "This is where your room is going to be!"  It was impossible for a three-year-old to imagine that room that was coming, but it is easy for this forty-eight-year-old to remember that day.

Ready the Millstone!

Matthew 18:6 (HCSB)
But whoever causes the downfall of one of these little ones who believe in Me—it would be better for him if a heavy millstone were hung around his neck and he were drowned in the depths of the sea!

For someone who tries to communicate with others through the use of the keyboard, my reserve of written words is very low at the moment.  In fact, I am sickened to the point of being nearly speechless.  I have just finished reading an amended lawsuit filed by former members against a relatively small but (up to now) influential evangelical denomination.  I am disgusted.  I am sickened.  My blood is boiling.