Saturday, May 3, 2014

How to Encourage Your Child to Abandon Christian Faith

It might surprise some to know that I once teetered on the brink of agnosticism if not outright atheism. Though it was 30 years ago, I still remember the hopeless, black, world-rending feeling of considering that there just might be no such being as God.  I didn’t feel I could talk about my doubts – I was supposed to just set aside my concerns and look to God for faith.  I didn’t think anyone would understand my doubts anyway.



How did I get to that point?  I had received a great deal of instruction on what to believe, but very little training on why I should believe the instruction in the first place.  I was unprepared for the intellectual challenges to Christianity.  There was little need for my church to prepare me; no one in our part of the world challenged the basic claims of Christianity.  My parents were typically good at explaining the “whys” of what they did and said, but they never deliberately prepared me for the onslaught against the Christian faith I experienced in college.  I am sure they did not envision the attacks I would face.
  
I was in a terrible state.  The world that the good people from my formative years helped shape in me was in tatters.  This went on in varying degrees for months – years actually.  Finally, in a period of great darkness, I cried out to God and asked him to show himself to me if he was real.  I asked for answers.  I asked for help.  I committed to follow him with my heart if he would resolve the questions of my mind.

I remember the day I finally mustered the courage to hint at some of my inner struggles with my father.  I braced myself for blowback.  Sitting in the back yard as we talked, he said, “Son, do you think I’ve never wondered if God is real?  Do you think I’ve never questioned if it’s not all just a myth?”  I was flabbergasted.  Dad shared how he had dealt with his questions in his own faith journey.  I learned that his firm convictions hadn’t come from blind faith, but rather from a careful examination of Christianity.  His questions weren’t all the same as mine, but he was not a dupe.  He was confident I would find answers just as he had.  Eventually I did, but it was a painful road.

Why are we losing so many of our children from the faith?  Many have honest intellectual questions that deserve deep, reasoned answers, yet we give them simple, shallow responses.  Why?  Because: 1) we never invested the effort to learn the answers for ourselves and can’t help them, 2) we are lazy and delegate this effort to others who may or may not be equipped, 3) both of these reasons.

According to statistician George Barna, 38% of Millennial 18-29 year olds who grew up in Christian homes “went through a period when they significantly doubted their faith.”  That is an eye-opening statistic for any Christian parent who cares about the faith of their children.  Your children will face open, antagonistic opposition to Christianity when they leave your roof.  Are they ready?

If you care about your kids’ faith, you’d better tend to your own.  A shallow faith on your part will produce apostasy in your child.  How can you transmit what you do not know?  In his book, Love Your God with All Your Mind, J.P. Moreland assesses the absence of reason in teaching the Christian faith to our young:
But if faith and reason are polar opposites, and if discipleship is private and sacred but college studies are public and secular, then training the intellect will not be valued as a part of teenage mentoring.  That is why our discipleship materials often leave Christian young people vulnerable to atheistic college professors with an ax to grind. For such professors, shredding an intellectually unprepared undergraduate's faith is like shooting fish in a barrel. [Emphasis added]

Do you want your child’s faith to be shot like a “fish in a barrel”?  Then fail to prepare them at home for challenges to the faith.  Do you think that your kids are doing just fine without any depth on your part?  Think again.  I assure you that doubt will find our children more easily today than it found me thirty years ago.  Much of what happens to your child’s faith tomorrow hinges on what you teach them today.  Are they prepared?  Are you?  Am I?

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