A Decade of Leukemia - Coming Full Circle

For ten years now, I have written or blogged at times about a significant part of our family's journey, and this could well be my last post on the subject.  Over the last decade, thousands of you have walked with us through arguably one of the most horrific situations a family can experience:  the diagnosis of cancer (and more specifically acute lymphoblastic leukemia - ALL) in the life of your child.  You walked with us through the months of Brad's thirteen-year-old life on a razor's edge as he was hospitalized from the initial bacterial septic shock that hurtled us down this path.  You walked with us through three-and-a-half years of the first horrible treatment and then another two-and-a-half when he relapsed - a nearly seven-year span of treatment in all.  You walked with us through two hip replacements and two hand/wrist surgeries since then to deal with the damage from all the treatment. It has been a difficult ten years - especially for Brad.

Nine Years and Normal Again!

As my life has filled with ever more activity (of various degrees of value), my blogging has ground to a near halt.  Looking back, I see that my last post was a year ago today – wow!  Well, I cannot let August 29 pass without looking back over the last nine years, particularly this last one.  August 29, 2009, was the day we almost lost our son and it became a defining moment in my life.  When you have had a child with cancer (leukemia in particular), it redefines everything.  Spending years on end dealing with the horrifying reality of the cancer itself, as well as the ongoing damage from treatment, can easily consume you.  It impacts everything: child, job, siblings, marriage, time, finances, spiritual life, sanity and even the dog.

Leukemia and Lessons on Control

August 29, 2009, is a date that will forever be burned into my mind.  In some ways, it still seems like it was yesterday that my healthy thirteen year-old son almost slipped away into death.  It was a day that, up to this point, marks the defining event and dominating circumstance of my last decade.  I have been reading my posts and blogs about Brad’s battle with leukemia (and the complications it caused) from the past eight years.  I can still feel the horror of helplessly watching Brad’s unrecognizable body teeter between life and death.  I remember the joy of progress and the despair at setbacks as Brad improved and digressed.

Stay to the Right

As I drove to church this morning, my wife and I barely avoided an Audi SUV whose driver apparently had no clue that others might also be driving on the road.  Our quiet Shelby County road is one-lane, curvy, and very tight in spots.  When we built our house here sixteen years ago, I was a relatively young pup of thirty-five years.  Being enthusiastic for my new home and neighborhood, I tried my hand at organizing my neighbors to get our little road widened for safety.  I quickly learned that this was a non-starter.  My neighbors informed me that the road was one of the main reasons they moved here.  They said it kept the “through traffic” out.  Unfortunately, it also creates the necessity for constant anticipation of the potential dangers around every curve and over every hill.

Just What Did You Expect from Trump?

In the aftermath of weekend revelations concerning Trump's sexism and Monday night's presidential debate between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton, evangelical Trump supporters are rethinking their position.  Some have been "shocked" at Trump from the "hot-mike" comments made before a 2005 interview with Billy Bush for Access Hollywood.  Shocked that Trump views women as sexual objects.  Shocked that he goes after married women for sport.  Shocked that he assaults women because he can.  Just shocked!

More Than a Dinner Bell

On a recent weekend, my wife Stacey and I made an effort to clean out our basement.  Over the past couple of months, I had built a small extra storage garage so that I could get some of the junk out of our regular garage.  This led to a total reorganization effort, resulting in a monster pile of goods to donate to charity.  Most of these items came from our basement.  We went through everything making an effort to eschew sentimentality and throw out things we are never going to use.  As we did this, I came across the small pile of items I have been keeping for my brothers and me which came from my parent's home.

Advice for the Best Man - Avoiding 9 Pitfalls that Can Wreck a Wedding Speech

As the wedding season moves into full swing, I have some unsolicited advice which might benefit you prospective best men and maids of honor.  If you have been asked to serve in such an important role, count yourself special.  Someone values you highly.  This honor typically includes the expectation that you will give a speech at the wedding reception of your friend.  For many, the thought of taking a microphone and speaking to hundreds of people you barely know can be downright terrifying.  If you will just keep a few things in mind, you can give a killer address that will honor your friend for a lifetime.

Living in Bizarro World

Do you remember the Seinfeld episode which focused on Bizarro World, a concept taken from Superman comics? Also incorporating the now famous “man hands” sketch, this episode was hilarious. In Bizarro world, everything is backwards. Good is bad, up is down, left is right, etc. Lately, I feel as if I’ve been dropped into Bizarro world myself. “How so?” you may ask. Because the most recent 2016 presidential election polls show Donald Trump leading the Republican field with nearly 40% of evangelical Christians now supporting him. I am pausing now for emphasis … EVANGELICAL CHRISTIANS!

A New Day Dawning

I took the picture in this post earlier this week here in Kentucky, and it seems quite fitting as a new day is dawning for my family.  This week, our nineteen year-old son, Bradley, started his college education at the University of Kentucky.  It seemed like this day might never arrive.  We had no idea what we were heading into six years ago today – August 29, 2009.  On a Saturday much like today as we were rushing Brad to the ER, we did not know that he had leukemia.  We just knew something was seriously wrong.  After having taken him to the doctor on the prior Wednesday and even again to immediate care just the night before, I had been reassured that there was nothing seriously wrong.  I didn’t know what was up that next morning six years ago, but I knew Brad was in big trouble.

My Son's Leukemia and Checking out on God

I realize that I haven’t posted in a while, and I doubt this fact impacts too many people.  I do occasionally have folks ask, “What happened?  Why did you go silent?”  The truth is, when my son Bradley relapsed in his leukemia back in October of 2013, it rocked my world.  I tried to stay engaged with broader things around me for a while, but I basically just lost my voice as I turned more inward.  I no longer had anything to say.

Is it Time to Dispose of the Concept of “Sin” ?

A few (ahem) years back when I was in college, I encountered a fellow student who had a propensity to take things that did not belong to him.  He just could not help it.  He would see something he wanted, and the next thing you knew, he had it in his possession (much to the surprise of the former owner).  He stole from strangers.  He stole from friends.  He stole from me.  When I became suspicious of him, I set up a sting operation in my dorm room giving him an opportunity to prove me wrong.  Unfortunately, he failed the test, but I had prepared for this possibility.  I caught him red-handed and shame-faced.

A&E Network and Cracker Barrel – Birds of a Feather?

The recent actions of both the A&E network and Cracker Barrel restaurants are similar signs of the moral confusion of the times.  These companies’ respective responses to the controversial comments of Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson give a revealing view of the corporate culture of each company.  Both A&E and Cracker Barrel have a carefully crafted, though very different, public image.  Each company portrays itself as clearly standing for certain values.  In the end, however, we see that neither company has any real convictions – other than the conviction that consumers are resources to be exploited for profit.

Thankful on the Cancer Wing?

Having just celebrated what is one of my very favorite holidays of the year, I’m reflecting a little on thankfulness.  It is 1:30AM as I sit here at Kosair Children’s Hospital in my University of Kentucky lounge pants (real men don’t wear pajamas).  My son has been a patient here on the oncology floor for the last two weeks.  What we hoped would be a relatively uneventful round of chemo to treat his leukemia relapse turned into a full blown septic infection in his bloodstream as well as a fungal infection in his lungs.  With no immunity because of the chemo treatments, he has been in a very precarious position.  It has taken constant care, constant treatment, a herd of doctors and nurses, round-the-clock attention from his mother and me, a can-do attitude from Brad, plus much prayer just to keep our noses above the water line. 

Dealing with Disappointment

This past week, I saw the following tweet come across my screen:

Billy Graham ‏@BillyGraham25 Oct
"I have never met anyone... who was strong in faith, who was ever discouraged for very long." http://ow.ly/qbrl4  #devotion

 This tweet caught my attention and resonated with me.  I followed the link and found a great deal of both wisdom and truth here in this short devotional from the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association. A few excerpts stood out to me:

"Discouragement is nothing new… It is as old as the history of man"

"It comes many times when we don’t get our way, when things don’t work out the way we want them to."

Disappointed with God?

What do you do when you are sorely disappointed with what God allows in your life?  Where do you turn when you have begged God for something which seems reasonable, yet God's answer is no?  How do you react when you cannot see what God is doing?  When you cannot see where he is going?  When you cannot figure out what he wants?  When you feel as if you can bear no more?

I have experienced a number of firsts the last few years, many of which I did not want.  Perhaps for the first time in my life, I am now experiencing deep disappointment at what God is allowing.  I hesitated to write this post.  I usually find blogging an outlet, but ever since my seventeen-year-old son Bradley was diagnosed with a leukemia relapse last week, I have been unable to find release through words.  I can identify my underlying feelings, but I have hesitated to admit them. It is hard to face being weak.

Chicken or Egg? Does Wealth Create Family Stability ?

While scanning news sites this morning, I saw a couple of headlines that caught my eye.  An article titled “Children suffer from growing economic inequality among families since recession” by Brigid Schulte was posted in the “Local” section of today’s Washington Post, but the implications of this article are anything but local.  The impetus for Schulte’s article is the report just released by Ohio State University social scientist Zhenchao Qian titled “Divergent Paths of American Families”.  Qian examined census and other data regarding income, poverty, and family status in the United States.  Both Schulte and Qian miss the point.



What's in a Day? A Great Deal When Your Son Is No Longer Dying!

The 29^th of August.  This day may not be significant for you, but it is forever burned into the very psyche of our family.  It was on this day, four years ago, that our then 13-year-old son Bradley went into septic shock from the staph infection that ran rampant through his body.  It was August 29^th, 2009, that our lives were irreversibly changed.  It was August 29^th when we were told our previously energetic, brilliant, healthy, and loving son would not live.  It was August 29^th that we learned he had leukemia which had allowed the septic infection to destroy every system of his body.

Ribeye Steak, a Polish Waiter and Being an American

For the first time in a long while, my wife and I have the chance to get away alone for a few days.  We chose to go back to Williamsburg, Virginia.  It’s been great so far.  I love Virginia.  The history here is incredible.  Both sides of my family have roots in Virginia dating back to the 1620’s in Jamestown.  During our tour of the Williamsburg capitol building, it was all I could do to keep from getting the tour guide’s attention and blurting out that my great-great-great-great…grandfather sat right here (well the capitol was actually in Jamestown then, but why quibble over historical details) in the 1623 House of Burgesses.  I was sure he would be automatically impressed and ask me to expound on my great knowledge of what it means to be an American.  Being the humble man that I am, however, I didn’t want to make others feel as if they were lesser Americans, so I held back. 

Now Flatulating Cattle are Driving Teens from the Church?

When I wrote my last post on Christians and climate change a few days ago, I had no idea the New York Times would publish the following article validating my points:

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/11/science/earth/what-to-make-of-a-climate-change-plateau.html?_r=1&

Again, I'm not discounting the possibility of global warming - I'm just challenging the confidence of what we really know.  I've had some people come after me very aggressively for my views on the subject.  I just find an incredible amount of hubris in the environmental science world about an incredibly difficult to solve (mathematically) problem.  Forgive me if my wee bit of experience (OK, a little more than a wee bit) mathematically predicting physical phenomenon makes me skeptical of the confidence of the environmental climatologists.

All that being said, I want to reiterate that it really doesn't matter if the science is correct or not - Christians should be the first in line to take care of the planet, albeit without unnecessarily taking a "hair-on-fire" kind of approach.

Famine in Malawi and Flatulating Kentucky Cattle

Conservative Christians really get a bum rap when it comes to certain social movements.  Some of it is fair – we can be quick to oppose anything “the world” tells us is true.  I read an article today which made me think.  The article, titled "The church in a land of climate change" was written by Jonathan Merritt – a young Christian culture thinker and writer.  Merritt works hard not to reject ideas just because they originated outside Christianity.  I like most of his writing.  Heck, I liked this article.  I just don’t agree with his core assumptions.