Leukemia and Lessons on Control

August 29, 2009, is a date that will forever be burned into my mind.  In some ways, it still seems like it was yesterday that my healthy thirteen year-old son almost slipped away into death.  It was a day that, up to this point, marks the defining event and dominating circumstance of my last decade.  I have been reading my posts and blogs about Brad’s battle with leukemia (and the complications it caused) from the past eight years.  I can still feel the horror of helplessly watching Brad’s unrecognizable body teeter between life and death.  I remember the joy of progress and the despair at setbacks as Brad improved and digressed.

A New Day Dawning

I took the picture in this post earlier this week here in Kentucky, and it seems quite fitting as a new day is dawning for my family.  This week, our nineteen year-old son, Bradley, started his college education at the University of Kentucky.  It seemed like this day might never arrive.  We had no idea what we were heading into six years ago today – August 29, 2009.  On a Saturday much like today as we were rushing Brad to the ER, we did not know that he had leukemia.  We just knew something was seriously wrong.  After having taken him to the doctor on the prior Wednesday and even again to immediate care just the night before, I had been reassured that there was nothing seriously wrong.  I didn’t know what was up that next morning six years ago, but I knew Brad was in big trouble.

My Son's Leukemia and Checking out on God

I realize that I haven’t posted in a while, and I doubt this fact impacts too many people.  I do occasionally have folks ask, “What happened?  Why did you go silent?”  The truth is, when my son Bradley relapsed in his leukemia back in October of 2013, it rocked my world.  I tried to stay engaged with broader things around me for a while, but I basically just lost my voice as I turned more inward.  I no longer had anything to say.

Traditional Marriage – Facing a Painful Reality

I like war movies.  I guess I got that from my dad.  My father was a WWII veteran who lied about his age and volunteered as a 16 year-old to fight for America.  He was always quick to explain that his patriotism and desire for adventure greatly exceeded his knowledge of what he was getting into.  I have two sons of my own, the youngest of which is seventeen.  It is hard for me to imagine either of them going to Italy and fighting across the Apennine Mountains at the age of 17.   I can’t imagine having done so myself.  Yet my dad and many others did. I used to love to watch war movies with my dad and listen to him talk about the different battle tactics.

Duck Dynasty, Phil Robertson and the Birth of Christ

It’s Christmas Eve.  I’m with my wife’s family preparing to celebrate Christmas and sitting alone in the quiet of the morning with my cup of black (there is no other kind) robusto coffee.  I look forward to the next few days with family.  In spite of all the negative commercialism, the pressure of shopping, and even some knowledge of the pagan roots of some of the traditions, I love Christmas.  It genuinely helps me to focus on the biggest question of life – “Why am I here?”  The coming of Christ is central to that.

It has always been obvious to me that I have a creator, even without Christianity and the Bible.  What is not as obvious is what this creator expects of me, if anything.  Condensing a great deal of comparative religious study and personal journey, I found Jesus to be the focal point for this determination.  If he really did come to earth in a miraculous virgin birth, his arrival is worth noting.  If he really did fulfill multiple prophecies, his life is worth considering.  If he really did perform miracles and teach things that cut to the core of the heart like no other, his words are worth hearing.  If he really did voluntarily die as a substitute to pay my debt for rebellion against my creator and rise from the grave showing his power over even death, he should be followed and followed on his own terms.  Where do we get those terms?  Well, they are recorded in the Bible.  The Bible is part and parcel of the Christian faith and is the key to understanding Christmas.

Dealing with Disappointment

This past week, I saw the following tweet come across my screen:

Billy Graham ‏@BillyGraham25 Oct
"I have never met anyone... who was strong in faith, who was ever discouraged for very long." http://ow.ly/qbrl4  #devotion

 This tweet caught my attention and resonated with me.  I followed the link and found a great deal of both wisdom and truth here in this short devotional from the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association. A few excerpts stood out to me:

"Discouragement is nothing new… It is as old as the history of man"

"It comes many times when we don’t get our way, when things don’t work out the way we want them to."

Disappointed with God?

What do you do when you are sorely disappointed with what God allows in your life?  Where do you turn when you have begged God for something which seems reasonable, yet God's answer is no?  How do you react when you cannot see what God is doing?  When you cannot see where he is going?  When you cannot figure out what he wants?  When you feel as if you can bear no more?

I have experienced a number of firsts the last few years, many of which I did not want.  Perhaps for the first time in my life, I am now experiencing deep disappointment at what God is allowing.  I hesitated to write this post.  I usually find blogging an outlet, but ever since my seventeen-year-old son Bradley was diagnosed with a leukemia relapse last week, I have been unable to find release through words.  I can identify my underlying feelings, but I have hesitated to admit them. It is hard to face being weak.

The Legacy of a Logan Countian

Tomorrow we auction the home and farm where I was reared.  I remember the summer before I turned four-years-old when my father was building the house.  My mother took us to the construction site.  The walls were being framed.  My Mom and Dad took my twin brother and me to a corner of the house and said, "This is where your room is going to be!"  It was impossible for a three-year-old to imagine that room that was coming, but it is easy for this forty-eight-year-old to remember that day.

Ready the Millstone!

Matthew 18:6 (HCSB)
But whoever causes the downfall of one of these little ones who believe in Me—it would be better for him if a heavy millstone were hung around his neck and he were drowned in the depths of the sea!

For someone who tries to communicate with others through the use of the keyboard, my reserve of written words is very low at the moment.  In fact, I am sickened to the point of being nearly speechless.  I have just finished reading an amended lawsuit filed by former members against a relatively small but (up to now) influential evangelical denomination.  I am disgusted.  I am sickened.  My blood is boiling.

Can Christianity and Freedom of Conscience Coexist?

I can't count the number of times I've heard what, to me at least, is possibly the most poorly reasoned charge leveled against Christianity.   It usually goes something like this:  "You Christians are so closed-minded and just want to force your beliefs on everyone else.  How arrogant to say you have 'the' Truth.  Why can't you just keep your beliefs to yourself?  Just go away!"  This attitude is getting a lot of play in the public square, with many people thinking they are doing the United States a favor by trying to suppress Christians from even admitting what they believe.  They apparently just want serious Christians to be gone.  Here's a recent example:

http://www.christianpost.com/news/teacher-fired-for-bible-nj-teacher-fired-for-giving-bible-to-inquisitive-student-93848/cpt

A New Era for Christians in America

Like any number of other (maybe "real" would be a better descriptor) culture observers, I came to the realization on November 14, 2012 that we were entering a new era for Christians in America.  After the second election of Barack Obama, there was no denying that "the times, they are a-changing."  The following months have only brought even greater clarity to that assessment.  Christianity is no longer culturally cool - at least not Biblical Christianity.  In fact, it appears the culture is heading toward downright antagonism toward historic Christianity.

Can a Christian Be a Gun Nut?

I’m surprised at how infrequently I really stop to think about it, but in one way I am living a life of uneasy tension as a gun-promoting, gun-toting, card-carrying NRA member who is simultaneously a committed follower of Jesus Christ.  The Sandy Hook shooting has shown me how easily I can compartmentalize my thoughts when it comes to certain subjects.  On the one hand, I’m an ardent defender of the Second Amendment to the point of including the availability of one-hundred shot magazines and Bushmaster assault rifles.  On the other hand, I’m basically a practical personal pacifist with a strong desire to avoid physical confrontations.