A Decade of Leukemia - Coming Full Circle

For ten years now, I have written or blogged at times about a significant part of our family's journey, and this could well be my last post on the subject.  Over the last decade, thousands of you have walked with us through arguably one of the most horrific situations a family can experience:  the diagnosis of cancer (and more specifically acute lymphoblastic leukemia - ALL) in the life of your child.  You walked with us through the months of Brad's thirteen-year-old life on a razor's edge as he was hospitalized from the initial bacterial septic shock that hurtled us down this path.  You walked with us through three-and-a-half years of the first horrible treatment and then another two-and-a-half when he relapsed - a nearly seven-year span of treatment in all.  You walked with us through two hip replacements and two hand/wrist surgeries since then to deal with the damage from all the treatment. It has been a difficult ten years - especially for Brad.

Nine Years and Normal Again!

As my life has filled with ever more activity (of various degrees of value), my blogging has ground to a near halt.  Looking back, I see that my last post was a year ago today – wow!  Well, I cannot let August 29 pass without looking back over the last nine years, particularly this last one.  August 29, 2009, was the day we almost lost our son and it became a defining moment in my life.  When you have had a child with cancer (leukemia in particular), it redefines everything.  Spending years on end dealing with the horrifying reality of the cancer itself, as well as the ongoing damage from treatment, can easily consume you.  It impacts everything: child, job, siblings, marriage, time, finances, spiritual life, sanity and even the dog.

Life is Struggle

As I sit here in the pre-dawn minutes of December 27, 2016 with my favorite coffee mug and a quiet house, I am getting a few minutes to think – something that seems rare for me these days.  The last seven years since Brad was diagnosed with leukemia have brought a range of life events I never anticipated.  I never dreamed we would deal with our child being at the brink of death so many times.  I never anticipated our entire life in many ways would revolve around this unwelcome illness.  We learned to be extremely grateful just to be out of a hospital for holidays.  I remember the Christmas of 2009 when Brad walked again for the first time in four months, and our whole family broke down in tears of gratitude. 

More Than a Dinner Bell

On a recent weekend, my wife Stacey and I made an effort to clean out our basement.  Over the past couple of months, I had built a small extra storage garage so that I could get some of the junk out of our regular garage.  This led to a total reorganization effort, resulting in a monster pile of goods to donate to charity.  Most of these items came from our basement.  We went through everything making an effort to eschew sentimentality and throw out things we are never going to use.  As we did this, I came across the small pile of items I have been keeping for my brothers and me which came from my parent's home.

Advice for the Best Man - Avoiding 9 Pitfalls that Can Wreck a Wedding Speech

As the wedding season moves into full swing, I have some unsolicited advice which might benefit you prospective best men and maids of honor.  If you have been asked to serve in such an important role, count yourself special.  Someone values you highly.  This honor typically includes the expectation that you will give a speech at the wedding reception of your friend.  For many, the thought of taking a microphone and speaking to hundreds of people you barely know can be downright terrifying.  If you will just keep a few things in mind, you can give a killer address that will honor your friend for a lifetime.

My Son's Leukemia and Checking out on God

I realize that I haven’t posted in a while, and I doubt this fact impacts too many people.  I do occasionally have folks ask, “What happened?  Why did you go silent?”  The truth is, when my son Bradley relapsed in his leukemia back in October of 2013, it rocked my world.  I tried to stay engaged with broader things around me for a while, but I basically just lost my voice as I turned more inward.  I no longer had anything to say.

Thankful on the Cancer Wing?

Having just celebrated what is one of my very favorite holidays of the year, I’m reflecting a little on thankfulness.  It is 1:30AM as I sit here at Kosair Children’s Hospital in my University of Kentucky lounge pants (real men don’t wear pajamas).  My son has been a patient here on the oncology floor for the last two weeks.  What we hoped would be a relatively uneventful round of chemo to treat his leukemia relapse turned into a full blown septic infection in his bloodstream as well as a fungal infection in his lungs.  With no immunity because of the chemo treatments, he has been in a very precarious position.  It has taken constant care, constant treatment, a herd of doctors and nurses, round-the-clock attention from his mother and me, a can-do attitude from Brad, plus much prayer just to keep our noses above the water line. 

Disappointed with God?

What do you do when you are sorely disappointed with what God allows in your life?  Where do you turn when you have begged God for something which seems reasonable, yet God's answer is no?  How do you react when you cannot see what God is doing?  When you cannot see where he is going?  When you cannot figure out what he wants?  When you feel as if you can bear no more?

I have experienced a number of firsts the last few years, many of which I did not want.  Perhaps for the first time in my life, I am now experiencing deep disappointment at what God is allowing.  I hesitated to write this post.  I usually find blogging an outlet, but ever since my seventeen-year-old son Bradley was diagnosed with a leukemia relapse last week, I have been unable to find release through words.  I can identify my underlying feelings, but I have hesitated to admit them. It is hard to face being weak.