A Decade of Leukemia - Coming Full Circle

For ten years now, I have written or blogged at times about a significant part of our family's journey, and this could well be my last post on the subject.  Over the last decade, thousands of you have walked with us through arguably one of the most horrific situations a family can experience:  the diagnosis of cancer (and more specifically acute lymphoblastic leukemia - ALL) in the life of your child.  You walked with us through the months of Brad's thirteen-year-old life on a razor's edge as he was hospitalized from the initial bacterial septic shock that hurtled us down this path.  You walked with us through three-and-a-half years of the first horrible treatment and then another two-and-a-half when he relapsed - a nearly seven-year span of treatment in all.  You walked with us through two hip replacements and two hand/wrist surgeries since then to deal with the damage from all the treatment. It has been a difficult ten years - especially for Brad.

A New Day Dawning

I took the picture in this post earlier this week here in Kentucky, and it seems quite fitting as a new day is dawning for my family.  This week, our nineteen year-old son, Bradley, started his college education at the University of Kentucky.  It seemed like this day might never arrive.  We had no idea what we were heading into six years ago today – August 29, 2009.  On a Saturday much like today as we were rushing Brad to the ER, we did not know that he had leukemia.  We just knew something was seriously wrong.  After having taken him to the doctor on the prior Wednesday and even again to immediate care just the night before, I had been reassured that there was nothing seriously wrong.  I didn’t know what was up that next morning six years ago, but I knew Brad was in big trouble.

My Son's Leukemia and Checking out on God

I realize that I haven’t posted in a while, and I doubt this fact impacts too many people.  I do occasionally have folks ask, “What happened?  Why did you go silent?”  The truth is, when my son Bradley relapsed in his leukemia back in October of 2013, it rocked my world.  I tried to stay engaged with broader things around me for a while, but I basically just lost my voice as I turned more inward.  I no longer had anything to say.

Thankful on the Cancer Wing?

Having just celebrated what is one of my very favorite holidays of the year, I’m reflecting a little on thankfulness.  It is 1:30AM as I sit here at Kosair Children’s Hospital in my University of Kentucky lounge pants (real men don’t wear pajamas).  My son has been a patient here on the oncology floor for the last two weeks.  What we hoped would be a relatively uneventful round of chemo to treat his leukemia relapse turned into a full blown septic infection in his bloodstream as well as a fungal infection in his lungs.  With no immunity because of the chemo treatments, he has been in a very precarious position.  It has taken constant care, constant treatment, a herd of doctors and nurses, round-the-clock attention from his mother and me, a can-do attitude from Brad, plus much prayer just to keep our noses above the water line. 

Disappointed with God?

What do you do when you are sorely disappointed with what God allows in your life?  Where do you turn when you have begged God for something which seems reasonable, yet God's answer is no?  How do you react when you cannot see what God is doing?  When you cannot see where he is going?  When you cannot figure out what he wants?  When you feel as if you can bear no more?

I have experienced a number of firsts the last few years, many of which I did not want.  Perhaps for the first time in my life, I am now experiencing deep disappointment at what God is allowing.  I hesitated to write this post.  I usually find blogging an outlet, but ever since my seventeen-year-old son Bradley was diagnosed with a leukemia relapse last week, I have been unable to find release through words.  I can identify my underlying feelings, but I have hesitated to admit them. It is hard to face being weak.

What's in a Day? A Great Deal When Your Son Is No Longer Dying!

The 29^th of August.  This day may not be significant for you, but it is forever burned into the very psyche of our family.  It was on this day, four years ago, that our then 13-year-old son Bradley went into septic shock from the staph infection that ran rampant through his body.  It was August 29^th, 2009, that our lives were irreversibly changed.  It was August 29^th when we were told our previously energetic, brilliant, healthy, and loving son would not live.  It was August 29^th that we learned he had leukemia which had allowed the septic infection to destroy every system of his body.

The Legacy of a Logan Countian

Tomorrow we auction the home and farm where I was reared.  I remember the summer before I turned four-years-old when my father was building the house.  My mother took us to the construction site.  The walls were being framed.  My Mom and Dad took my twin brother and me to a corner of the house and said, "This is where your room is going to be!"  It was impossible for a three-year-old to imagine that room that was coming, but it is easy for this forty-eight-year-old to remember that day.

Can a Christian Be a Gun Nut?

I’m surprised at how infrequently I really stop to think about it, but in one way I am living a life of uneasy tension as a gun-promoting, gun-toting, card-carrying NRA member who is simultaneously a committed follower of Jesus Christ.  The Sandy Hook shooting has shown me how easily I can compartmentalize my thoughts when it comes to certain subjects.  On the one hand, I’m an ardent defender of the Second Amendment to the point of including the availability of one-hundred shot magazines and Bushmaster assault rifles.  On the other hand, I’m basically a practical personal pacifist with a strong desire to avoid physical confrontations.