A Decade of Leukemia - Coming Full Circle

For ten years now, I have written or blogged at times about a significant part of our family's journey, and this could well be my last post on the subject.  Over the last decade, thousands of you have walked with us through arguably one of the most horrific situations a family can experience:  the diagnosis of cancer (and more specifically acute lymphoblastic leukemia - ALL) in the life of your child.  You walked with us through the months of Brad's thirteen-year-old life on a razor's edge as he was hospitalized from the initial bacterial septic shock that hurtled us down this path.  You walked with us through three-and-a-half years of the first horrible treatment and then another two-and-a-half when he relapsed - a nearly seven-year span of treatment in all.  You walked with us through two hip replacements and two hand/wrist surgeries since then to deal with the damage from all the treatment. It has been a difficult ten years - especially for Brad.

Leukemia and Lessons on Control

August 29, 2009, is a date that will forever be burned into my mind.  In some ways, it still seems like it was yesterday that my healthy thirteen year-old son almost slipped away into death.  It was a day that, up to this point, marks the defining event and dominating circumstance of my last decade.  I have been reading my posts and blogs about Brad’s battle with leukemia (and the complications it caused) from the past eight years.  I can still feel the horror of helplessly watching Brad’s unrecognizable body teeter between life and death.  I remember the joy of progress and the despair at setbacks as Brad improved and digressed.

Life is Struggle

As I sit here in the pre-dawn minutes of December 27, 2016 with my favorite coffee mug and a quiet house, I am getting a few minutes to think – something that seems rare for me these days.  The last seven years since Brad was diagnosed with leukemia have brought a range of life events I never anticipated.  I never dreamed we would deal with our child being at the brink of death so many times.  I never anticipated our entire life in many ways would revolve around this unwelcome illness.  We learned to be extremely grateful just to be out of a hospital for holidays.  I remember the Christmas of 2009 when Brad walked again for the first time in four months, and our whole family broke down in tears of gratitude. 

More Than a Dinner Bell

On a recent weekend, my wife Stacey and I made an effort to clean out our basement.  Over the past couple of months, I had built a small extra storage garage so that I could get some of the junk out of our regular garage.  This led to a total reorganization effort, resulting in a monster pile of goods to donate to charity.  Most of these items came from our basement.  We went through everything making an effort to eschew sentimentality and throw out things we are never going to use.  As we did this, I came across the small pile of items I have been keeping for my brothers and me which came from my parent's home.

A New Day Dawning

I took the picture in this post earlier this week here in Kentucky, and it seems quite fitting as a new day is dawning for my family.  This week, our nineteen year-old son, Bradley, started his college education at the University of Kentucky.  It seemed like this day might never arrive.  We had no idea what we were heading into six years ago today – August 29, 2009.  On a Saturday much like today as we were rushing Brad to the ER, we did not know that he had leukemia.  We just knew something was seriously wrong.  After having taken him to the doctor on the prior Wednesday and even again to immediate care just the night before, I had been reassured that there was nothing seriously wrong.  I didn’t know what was up that next morning six years ago, but I knew Brad was in big trouble.

Hurtling Down the Slippery Slope

(Author’s Note:  Though I originally wrote this post in July, I have been so busy that I have just now found a moment to edit it and step back into blogging.) 

I realize that the more I wade into this marriage water, the hotter it is going to get.  My views (though unchanging) are increasingly becoming politically incorrect and soon to be, if not now already, branded as “bigoted” and “hateful”.  I adamantly reject those labels and press on.  I suppose I want to get on record now so that as events and decisions regarding marriage play out in our country, a memory (however faint it may be) of these words may provoke others to consider what I’m saying.

How to Encourage Your Child to Abandon Christian Faith

It might surprise some to know that I once teetered on the brink of agnosticism if not outright atheism. Though it was 30 years ago, I still remember the hopeless, black, world-rending feeling of considering that there just might be no such being as God.  I didn’t feel I could talk about my doubts – I was supposed to just set aside my concerns and look to God for faith.  I didn’t think anyone would understand my doubts anyway.

Traditional Marriage – Facing a Painful Reality

I like war movies.  I guess I got that from my dad.  My father was a WWII veteran who lied about his age and volunteered as a 16 year-old to fight for America.  He was always quick to explain that his patriotism and desire for adventure greatly exceeded his knowledge of what he was getting into.  I have two sons of my own, the youngest of which is seventeen.  It is hard for me to imagine either of them going to Italy and fighting across the Apennine Mountains at the age of 17.   I can’t imagine having done so myself.  Yet my dad and many others did. I used to love to watch war movies with my dad and listen to him talk about the different battle tactics.

Duck Dynasty, Phil Robertson and the Birth of Christ

It’s Christmas Eve.  I’m with my wife’s family preparing to celebrate Christmas and sitting alone in the quiet of the morning with my cup of black (there is no other kind) robusto coffee.  I look forward to the next few days with family.  In spite of all the negative commercialism, the pressure of shopping, and even some knowledge of the pagan roots of some of the traditions, I love Christmas.  It genuinely helps me to focus on the biggest question of life – “Why am I here?”  The coming of Christ is central to that.

It has always been obvious to me that I have a creator, even without Christianity and the Bible.  What is not as obvious is what this creator expects of me, if anything.  Condensing a great deal of comparative religious study and personal journey, I found Jesus to be the focal point for this determination.  If he really did come to earth in a miraculous virgin birth, his arrival is worth noting.  If he really did fulfill multiple prophecies, his life is worth considering.  If he really did perform miracles and teach things that cut to the core of the heart like no other, his words are worth hearing.  If he really did voluntarily die as a substitute to pay my debt for rebellion against my creator and rise from the grave showing his power over even death, he should be followed and followed on his own terms.  Where do we get those terms?  Well, they are recorded in the Bible.  The Bible is part and parcel of the Christian faith and is the key to understanding Christmas.

Thankful on the Cancer Wing?

Having just celebrated what is one of my very favorite holidays of the year, I’m reflecting a little on thankfulness.  It is 1:30AM as I sit here at Kosair Children’s Hospital in my University of Kentucky lounge pants (real men don’t wear pajamas).  My son has been a patient here on the oncology floor for the last two weeks.  What we hoped would be a relatively uneventful round of chemo to treat his leukemia relapse turned into a full blown septic infection in his bloodstream as well as a fungal infection in his lungs.  With no immunity because of the chemo treatments, he has been in a very precarious position.  It has taken constant care, constant treatment, a herd of doctors and nurses, round-the-clock attention from his mother and me, a can-do attitude from Brad, plus much prayer just to keep our noses above the water line. 

Dealing with Disappointment

This past week, I saw the following tweet come across my screen:

Billy Graham ‏@BillyGraham25 Oct
"I have never met anyone... who was strong in faith, who was ever discouraged for very long." http://ow.ly/qbrl4  #devotion

 This tweet caught my attention and resonated with me.  I followed the link and found a great deal of both wisdom and truth here in this short devotional from the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association. A few excerpts stood out to me:

"Discouragement is nothing new… It is as old as the history of man"

"It comes many times when we don’t get our way, when things don’t work out the way we want them to."

Now Flatulating Cattle are Driving Teens from the Church?

When I wrote my last post on Christians and climate change a few days ago, I had no idea the New York Times would publish the following article validating my points:

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/11/science/earth/what-to-make-of-a-climate-change-plateau.html?_r=1&

Again, I'm not discounting the possibility of global warming - I'm just challenging the confidence of what we really know.  I've had some people come after me very aggressively for my views on the subject.  I just find an incredible amount of hubris in the environmental science world about an incredibly difficult to solve (mathematically) problem.  Forgive me if my wee bit of experience (OK, a little more than a wee bit) mathematically predicting physical phenomenon makes me skeptical of the confidence of the environmental climatologists.

All that being said, I want to reiterate that it really doesn't matter if the science is correct or not - Christians should be the first in line to take care of the planet, albeit without unnecessarily taking a "hair-on-fire" kind of approach.

The Legacy of a Logan Countian

Tomorrow we auction the home and farm where I was reared.  I remember the summer before I turned four-years-old when my father was building the house.  My mother took us to the construction site.  The walls were being framed.  My Mom and Dad took my twin brother and me to a corner of the house and said, "This is where your room is going to be!"  It was impossible for a three-year-old to imagine that room that was coming, but it is easy for this forty-eight-year-old to remember that day.

Ready the Millstone!

Matthew 18:6 (HCSB)
But whoever causes the downfall of one of these little ones who believe in Me—it would be better for him if a heavy millstone were hung around his neck and he were drowned in the depths of the sea!

For someone who tries to communicate with others through the use of the keyboard, my reserve of written words is very low at the moment.  In fact, I am sickened to the point of being nearly speechless.  I have just finished reading an amended lawsuit filed by former members against a relatively small but (up to now) influential evangelical denomination.  I am disgusted.  I am sickened.  My blood is boiling.

Can Christianity and Freedom of Conscience Coexist?

I can't count the number of times I've heard what, to me at least, is possibly the most poorly reasoned charge leveled against Christianity.   It usually goes something like this:  "You Christians are so closed-minded and just want to force your beliefs on everyone else.  How arrogant to say you have 'the' Truth.  Why can't you just keep your beliefs to yourself?  Just go away!"  This attitude is getting a lot of play in the public square, with many people thinking they are doing the United States a favor by trying to suppress Christians from even admitting what they believe.  They apparently just want serious Christians to be gone.  Here's a recent example:

http://www.christianpost.com/news/teacher-fired-for-bible-nj-teacher-fired-for-giving-bible-to-inquisitive-student-93848/cpt

A New Era for Christians in America

Like any number of other (maybe "real" would be a better descriptor) culture observers, I came to the realization on November 14, 2012 that we were entering a new era for Christians in America.  After the second election of Barack Obama, there was no denying that "the times, they are a-changing."  The following months have only brought even greater clarity to that assessment.  Christianity is no longer culturally cool - at least not Biblical Christianity.  In fact, it appears the culture is heading toward downright antagonism toward historic Christianity.

Can a Christian Be a Gun Nut?

I’m surprised at how infrequently I really stop to think about it, but in one way I am living a life of uneasy tension as a gun-promoting, gun-toting, card-carrying NRA member who is simultaneously a committed follower of Jesus Christ.  The Sandy Hook shooting has shown me how easily I can compartmentalize my thoughts when it comes to certain subjects.  On the one hand, I’m an ardent defender of the Second Amendment to the point of including the availability of one-hundred shot magazines and Bushmaster assault rifles.  On the other hand, I’m basically a practical personal pacifist with a strong desire to avoid physical confrontations.